Never realised it was you
by leavemebe
Summary: Santana's with brit but its killing her, can quinn save her from herself ? starts off sorta slow, M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Never realised it was you

Chapter 1

It was another routine morning, Santana had to get up and get dressed, make her way to school and try not to kill anyone. It was a bright morning which made her smile, she loved going to school in her short cheer outfit. She bounced out of bed and hopped into the shower. She turned the dial and let the water trickle slowly. With every beat of the water droplets she became more relaxed. She always found herself at her happiest when she was around water, it somewhat calmed the hot tempered Latina. She pulled herself out of the momentary daze and proceeded to get washed.

She stood in the middle of her room with a towel wrapped around her middle whilst she did her hair in that high pony that sue made mandatory. She pulled herself over to the dresser where the cheer uniform was and let her towel fall at her feet. She had just picked up her uniform when her bedroom door suddenly swung open. She bent down as quickly as humanly possible and wrapped the towel around herself, only to see Brittany make her way to her bad. "Jesus, Brit. How many times have I told you to knock before you come into my room, this is like every day this month?" "I always forget and what's the problem, you have an awesome body" with that Santana brought her uniform into the bathroom and got changed.

The girls had made their way to school in less than 5 minutes, they lived close. The school was packed as per usual, but not one soul dared to get in the way of the head bitches plus they knew Santana would attack them , not to mention Quinn has a sharp tongue which even left the teachers in fear, all bar sue. Thankfully it was a Thursday, which meant only one more day to go then pucks annual Friday night party was there. Puck was infamous within the school. It could be said that the Santana circle of friends ruled the school. Thursday was an easy day for Santana, first period was cheer then her and Quinn would ditch and go to Quinn's house until 4 then they would go back to pick up Brit.

"Come on you bags of jelly, I can't stand to see you all jiggle anymore, hit the showers!" sue had a way with words. Santana and Quinn fell back behind everyone and headed to the bleachers, they both made their way behind them and found their bags that they had stashed there before practice. They took them and made their way slowly off the field to Quinn's car. Quinn unlocked the boot and the girls discarded their bags before they climbed into the car. Once Quinn pulled out of the parking lot Santana switched the radio on only to get a glare from her blond bombshell of a friend "fine, no radio" Santana turned her head and starred at the passing buildings. "San" , the pet name came as a whisper, Quinn knew that would grab her attention. Santana turned her head slowly before her big brown eyes met hazzel ones "yea" the short answer came out with a shaky breath of air. Quinn kept her eyes after that focused on the road as she spoke "so, are we going to speak about what you did last night ? Or are you going to ignore everything again as usual." "Ughhhh" Santana really hated this "you know what happened I told you already" Santana couldn't help but bring her mind back to that moment

_Santana had just fucked puck even though she is supposed to be faithful to Brit, she had tears in her eyes as she walked down the street at 3am. She pulled her sleeve down a little and wiped her mascara from running. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she couldn't help herself. With a quick move she pulled her phone out and dialled Quinn's number. She listened to the calling dial for a moment until she heard a sleepy yet comforting voice. "San?" Quinn listened for a response but all she could hear was muffled crying "what's the matter? Are you okay" Quinn was starting to get worried however it wasn't the first time that this had happened. "Quinn, I fucked up" Santana could hardly breathe let alone string a conversation together. "I...I...I did it again, I know I shouldn't have but I can't help myself Q I just, I don't know I guess I'm just fucked up Q I really don't know." Santana had to stop speaking so she could gather her breathing but once she stopped Quinn started. "San, calm down, where are you, do I need to come get you? San hello ?" "I'm sorry Q I'm at my house now, can we forget about this, I'm going to bed. Night" Quinn hated to see her friend in such a state but she had no idea how to help._

"No, we gave to talk about this properly. Now get out" the girls had already pulled up to Quinn's house. Santana hung her head and got out slowly so that she wouldn't have to wait on Quinn to unlock the door. She slammed the car door and dragged her heels on the ground, making her way in doors. Once she was through the door she made her way to Quinn's kitchen and came back out with a bag of chips and chocolate, Quinn followed behind her with two ice teas. "Okay, sit" Santana did as she was told.

" Look at me and tell me you love her" Santana looked Quinn in the eyes and said in a whimper "I..I love" then her eyes shot back down to her bag of chips. Quinn let out a heavy sigh. "San, you can't keep doing this, puck is only using you and Brit loves you for fuck sake. You are destroying yourself" Santana had tears forming. "Don't you think I know that, that I'm a bad person, completely heartless and don't you think I fucking loath myself for doing this to her to him to you. I just can't help myself and I don't know why I do what I do but I sure as hell can't stop and that's the bit that makes me want to die." Tears had started to roll down Santana's face. "I know you san, I sure as hell know you have a heart, and don't you remember all those nights you sat with me and let me cry on your shoulder. When you cried with me, when you saved me from myself. I will help you through this but you have to start being honest with me and yourself". Tears where now rolling from both girls eyes. "I will Q, I will" both girls fell into each other's arms and sobbed quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Santana rolled over and fell off the sofa with a thud. "San, why you on the floor?" Quinn rubbed her blurry eyes as a way to make sense of the situation. "Does it look like I planned this" with this both girls let out a heartedly chuckle. Santana reached up and took Quinn by the arm and pulled her off too, Santana really didn't think this through because now Quinn was on top of her. "Gee Q when did you get so heavy" Quinn lightly slapped Santana on her arm. "Hey, I'm not heavy at all" the girls couldn't help but chuckle again. Everything went silent and brown eyes connected with innocent blue eyes and not a word was said. They stayed like this until Santana's pocket started to vibrate which frightened both girls. "Hey Brit what's up" Quinn got up and dusted herself off to give Santana a little privacy. "did you forget what time it is, what happened to you" oh shit she forgot to pick Brit up, she glanced to the clock on the main wall and to her surprise it was 6pm. "oh fuck, Brit I am so sorry, Quinn wasn't feeling too good so we left early and I guess we just fell asleep." She had no other option to lie, Brit would flip if she knew that they do this all the time without her "are you ever going to tell her about this?" Quinn had appeared again. "No, I like this time with just us, the three of us are always together, so I guess the unholy trinity needs a break sometimes." Santana flattered her eyelashes and flashed a smile which in return made Quinn do the exact same thing.

Quinn pulled her phone out and ordered a pizza. "Hey, S. I hope you're hungry cause diners on its way." "When am I not hungry" the girls always had a way of making each other laugh. Santana opened up the alcohol cabinet and lifted the large vodka bottle. She brought it into the living area before returning to the kitchen to get the juice. Quinn brought two tall glasses and two shot glasses in with her. "San, you do know if we get drunk that I'm not going to school tomorrow?" Santana smirked at her "it's a good thing your folks are gone for a month because this is something I could get used to" the blond and the brunette both planted them self's on the floor beside the coffee table. Santana poured two shots before starting a game of truths. "Lie and take a shot or truth and opponent take's a shot" Quinn knew that Santana would find a way to tell her what's been going on in her head. Santana lifted her shot to her lips, "I still love Brit" san knocked her shot back. Q lifted her shot " I think you should stay with her" Q knocked her shot back and so the night went on with all the girls secrets spilling, "Q, I've never wanted to kiss you" san took a drink from the bottle this time, "san pass the bottle" she did the same. Both girls looked each other up and down. "Why have you never told me" Santana's voice was high "what good would it have done?" Santana was almost speechless, "I think maybe if you would have told me, we could have done this" san got to her knees, leaned over and took Q by the face and slowly planted her lips onto Q's. " Well I told you now" Quinn retaliated and sucked on Santana's neck. "Hmmmm, Q, that feels,hmmm" Santana had been rendered speechless. Quinn brought her hands to sans sipper and tugged, almost to get permission. With no hesitation from S, she continued. Santana was naked from the waist up. Quinn sucked at her neck and with her free hands she trailed on up and down sans spine and the other on the thigh of the Latina. Q brought her mouth on down Santana's neck. Leaving a trail of kisses until she came to the nipple. She put her mouth over the left one and sucked, licking the hard nipple and with her other hand massaged the other until she could hear Santana's heart start to race and her breathing grew rapid. She kissed on down her stomach until she came to the tan girl's waste line. She looked up and made eye connection with Santana to know that she had permission to continue. Quinn tugged at san's skirt and with one swift movement Santana was naked. The blond girl made short work with regards to her own clothing and soon both girls where naked and panting. Quinn lifted Santana's legs and placed herself between them. She could see the anticipation in Santana's eyes and the sexual tension was growing ever so by the minute. Quinn never lost eye contact with the other girl as she leant down into Santana's thighs. She gently kissed from her knee down her thigh, leaving little bruises for san to remember her by. She grew nearer to sans warm centre and she could see the effect she was having on her as the Latina beneath her started to grind her hips upwards in need of Quinn to pleasure her. Quinn had enough fun teasing her friend that she gave in and brought her mouth to her centre and in gentle movements, brushed her throbbing clit with her talented tongue. She nibbled and sucked until Santana couldn't take it anymore, "please. Q. Please. I need you" as soon as San spoke Q trailed her finger down her sex and slowly put one in her. San felt it and it felt good, she was panting and grinding down on Quinn's hand by this stage. Q found her rhythm with san and pumped harder and harder, she added another finger. "Ahh, yes. Keep...faster...faster...ahhh" san was on her way to an orgasm. She was panting and moaning which only made Q faster. As Quinn worked on her friend with her hand, her mouth wondered again up to the other girls erect nipple. With her tongue working wonders on sans nipple and her magic fingers going at full speed a few moments later Santana came undone in Quinn's arms. Both girls collapsed onto the floor in each other's arms, as they both tried to steady there breathing they feel asleep.

The house was completely quiet when a booming knock appeared at the front door. Santana was the first to awake. Both girls had fallen back asleep in each other's arms. Santana stood up in all her glory only to realise she was naked. The girl's expression turned from dazed to confused in the space of 5 seconds. She ran to the bathroom and put on a fluffy white robe before answering the door.

"Hey, pizza delivery . $16". How could they have forgotten about the pizza. Santana found her purse and paid what they owed. She returned to the living area to find a still sleeping Quinn. She studied the sleeping girl. Messy blond hair, precious pink lips and a pale but angelic like body to die for, lay asleep before her. Santana knew she should wake her but she couldn't bring herself to face her best friend after what had just happened.

Santana creped around the room silently, finding all her discarded clothes before throwing them all on in a hurry. She stumbled to the note pad by the phone and scribbled a quick note. "I'm sorry but there's Pizza in the fridge". Santana took one last longing look at the sleeping beauty before hanging her head in shame and leaving the Fabray household. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but she couldn't face what was ahead if she were to stay. As soon as Santana was out of sight of Quinn's house, she took her iPod out and placed the two white buds into her ears. She flicked through her song list before settling on a song by You Me at Six, Stay with Me. As the faces and houses and traffic all became a blur to her as she walked down the street she let the songs take over her body.

_It's the way it's always been_

_Oh, how do I know if I should stay or should I go ?_

_The bottom line is this way that I'll never know_

She felt tears dance on an emotionless mask. She didn't know why she was crying. All she knew was that she didn't like it, she jogged home the rest of the way. She couldn't let people see her this way.


	3. Chapter 3

Once behind closed doors, Santana made her way to her room, it was the only place that she could feel safe, as soon as she turned that lock, the real Santana came out. It was the only place she didn't have to keep up a facade. She took her earphone out and hooked her iPod into the dock, the music filled the room and sooth the girl. Music was her rock for every situation. The loud music seemed to calm her, they drowned out her demons. She cast her mind back to the sleeping angel that she left alone and let the tears fall silently. She lay down on her back and ran her hand over head repeatedly. She couldn't shake the thought of what she just did, the fact she felt so good about it but so bad about it. Manic thoughts flew from one corner of her mind to the obis of another. The voices never stopped.

She stood up and made her way to the bathroom, slowly she walked to the sink, she seen the girl on the other side of the mirror but that girl was not the girl Santana recognised. The bags of her eyes were deep, she was too skinny and she looked tired constantly. This had to stop. Santana bent down and shifted through the medicine cupboard until she came to a bottle of painkillers "jack pot" she pooped the cap and took 2, she felt it numbed the voices a little. She got into the shower and let the water wash the guilt off of her.

Quinn awoke lazily, she stretched her arm out to feel for Santana but to her amazement the space is empty. She knew this would happen. Quinn stood up and put her belonging back, she made her way to the kitchen only to find a note from Santana. "She's sorry, huh. For what? Being a coward of blending into her facade" with a sour taste in her mouth Quinn took the pizza and made her way to her room. She had a shit load of pizza to compensate for the bitterness she felt for Santana. Quinn couldn't get her head around the girl, she thought she the girl inside and out, but recently something had changed and she knew it was for the worst.

Once her pizza was done she climbed into the shower and rinsed the day off her, once she was done, Quinn put on her normal clothes. She wasn't ready for bed just yet. Once she was dressed she made her way to her car and drove well over the limit to get to sans home.

The car pulled up with a screech in Santana's drive. The blond knew all too well that this would get a reaction from sans mother. She was right. As soon as Quinn got out of the car, she could see a brunette women peering out the window. Quinn sent a wave to her and the gesture was returned. With that Quinn made her way inside in a hurry. "Hey, miss L, how's it going ?" "I'm doing well dear, are you here to see Santana or me" both girls chuckled. "She's in her room, go on up" with the dismissal Quinn rushed upstairs to san's door. "San, open up" Quinn was banging on the door by this point. "Ughhhh, what are you doing here" the door swung open and a furious looking Santana stood. "I'm here to make sure that you are okay" "I'm fine Q, go home" Quinn didn't pay any attention the girl and barged on in. "close the door s" Santana did as she was told.

The girls both made awkward eye contact before either one said a word. Quinn was first to break the silence. "How come you left?" Santana dropped her eyes to the floor. "You knew I wouldn't have stayed Q, why are you acting like this is a problem, it was a mistake" she look dead on in the eyes with her best friend. They both studied each other's facial expressions for a moment. "s, don't be like that, you know I only want what's best for you, and you shutting yourself up in your room and running from the truth is not healthy and it's the cowards way out, what happened to my best friend, the girl that took no shit from anyone and could have fun without running off like a little bitch." Quinn had tears rolling down her cheeks. "I am that girl and don't you dare say that I changed, fuck you Q. The truth is, I just grew up, and maybe you should do the same too. Don't act as if you know me all that well, truth is you know fuck all" Quinn looked defeated, "tell me then S, what's wrong. I'm here" pleading with her best friend, Quinn thought she could at least figure out where all this was coming from. "No. You weren't there when I needed you, now your here and I don't need you. Just leave. You're embarrassing yourself." Quinn was shocked, she had never been spoken to in that tone. "Where was I ? I was right here the whole time, you just blocked me out, how could I be there when you don't return my calls, texts, tweets or messages. Do you know what san, you're just too fucked up for me to deal with, first you turn secretive, then you always seem to be distant, then the alcohol and now the cheating and lying. Admit to yourself that something's changed in you and once you're ready to apologise let me know, have a nice life." Quinn ran downstairs and straight into her car, she stepped on the gas and made her way home, once she was inside she made her way to her room and buried herself within the blankets, she hated fighting with Santana.

As soon as Quinn had left, her words had sunk into to Santana, she hated it, and so she pooped another few tablets. Just enough to help her sleep. She lay down on her bed as her eyelids closed bit by bit.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Santana's P.O.V

Light flooded the room and chased the darkness away. Santana's eyes flickered until her brown orbs could adjust to the light. She stood up and looked at the mess that she had created in her anger. She set to work on cleaning up her room. Putting back one item at a time she couldn't help but let her mind replay the events of last night. The cleaning was done in a blur but all she could think about were the tears that feel from beautiful hazel eyes. She never meant to hurt Quinn but she didn't want her to know how fucked up she really was.

The time was approaching for Santana to go to school again. She jumped into a quick shower and threw on her cheerio outfit. She was fully aware of what was to come when she got to school so she ran to the medicine drawer and put two bottles of pain meds in her bag. If this day was going to be hell, she thought these would at least take the edge of it.

Once Santana pulled up to school she went straight to her locker to stash her meds. Unaware to Santana, Quinn was observing her every movement from the far corner. As much as it pained her, she knew that if she forced Santana to talk about it, she would just run off and hide. Before Santana could turn around Q had ran off to stay unnoticed. Santana made a be –line to the changing room to start getting ready for practice. She pushed the door open to find Quinn bent over tying her laces. Santana study her best friend's slim figure until Quinn gazed, Santana avoided eye contact. She knew it would only lead to a fight in the middle of the changing room. As captains the two girls were not to show weakness in front of the squad and that's exactly what a fight would do. Santana bent down and tied her shoes tight and made sure that her hair was in place. By the time she got back up, she was standing alone. She couldn't take this. Santana went to her locker and pulled out her other meds that she had stashed her a while ago. She took two and washed it down with her water. She patted her skirt down and fixed her shirt. She took pride in her appearance.

She made her way out to the field, where she could see Brit and Q talk and joke. Quinn took notice of Santana's presence but carried on talking to Brit like before. "Kill me now!" She thought.

"Okay, enough chitt chatting. Let's get to work! 20 laps and don't stop until all of them are done!" with their official command from sue all of the team set off to do their training, if they were caught slacking, sue would literally kill them.

After practice all the girls were in the changing room, except Santana. She was still of the field running laps. It helped clear her head from everything. "What are you doing, Santana?" Santana recognised that voice, but she didn't stop or even turn to answer the girl. "San, stop, you're going to hurt yourself." Santana slowed down slightly so that she could catch her breath. "What does it look like, Quinn" she knew she was being a bitch but she didn't care. Quinn made her way to the field and she started to run, she was able to catch up to Santana with ease. "Q, just leave me" "Santana you cannot exercise like this when you aren't physically healthy" Santana kept her gaze front, "I'm perfectly healthy Q" Quinn scoffed at this. "Don't lie to me san, I know about the pills" Santana stopped dead in her tracks. "How? when ?" Santana had turned a shade lighter than usual. "I seen you this morning, S" Santana felt a hot tear fall from her face. She didn't want to have this conversation. "How long has it been, san?" Santana couldn't look Quinn in the eyes. "A few months just" Santana made her retort barely audible. "What are they, San? Don't forget that I know your dads a doctor." Santana didn't answer, she just looked at the ground. "san, what the fuck are they" Santana couldn't take it anymore, she looked Quinn in the eyes and said in a whisper "Methadone" after answering Q, Santana took off, she went to all her lockers and took all the bottles and pills she could find, she was aware that Quinn would be on the rampage for her and she just hadn't got the energy for it, she wanted it all to end.

As soon as she had collected all of her pills she made her way to her car, she drove rapidly until she made it to her favourite place. It was a place that not many knew. Q and she had found it when they were young. It was a trail off of the main road and let to a big tree in the middle of a field covered in pretty flowers. Santana made her way to the tree and took in all of the scents and scenery. It was time, she was ready to stop the voices. Santana emptied all of the pills into her hand and with one swift move of the hand she swallowed them. She lay down and waited for them to work their magic.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Quinn's P.O.V

She knew something was up ever since their fight last night. When Quinn looked into Santana's eyes she couldn't recognise the soul she grew accustomed too. Her eyes were dark and lifeless. That's when it all came together in Quinn's head. Quinn left her house early that morning so that she could go and see Santana before school, but when Quinn arrived at Santana's house the Latina had just got into her car, that's when Quinn decided to follow her. She was thankful that she followed her because once she seen the pills that's when Q decided she was going to save Santana's soul whether she liked it or not. After the confession in the field Quinn knew that something was wrong with Santana as soon as she ran off. Quinn checked all the usual places in school before she came to the conclusion that Santana was no longer in school. The fact that San confessed then left, worried Quinn more than she would care to admit. She had been best friends with San, for as long as she could remember and this is not how the girl would act ever. Quinn took matters into her own hands and left school. She made her way to San's house. She didn't find a soul inside. That's when she realised where Santana would be. Quinn jumped in her car and drove frantically to the big tree, where she and san had spent most of their child hood.

Quinn pulled up behind Santana's car. Quinn felt a pang in her stomach, she could sense something bad was about to happen. She seen it, the tan, brown haired beauty was lying lifeless under the tree. Quinn sprinted to her friend. "Santana, San" she called for her friend, but she never answered. As soon as Quinn made it over to Santana, she fell to her knees and shook her best friend, she still got no response. Tears were now uncontrolled, and falling like a water fall. "Please wake up, San, Wake up. Please." She shook her again and still got no response, she lowered herself to Santana's mouth. She could still here breathe, but Santana wouldn't wake up. "Russell, please. Its san, hurry up, we're at the big tree, send an ambulance, quick, she won't wake up." Quinn just kept Santana warm and cried her name. It was only moments before she could hear the sirens wale. Quinn looked up to see Russell running over with tears rolling down his cheeks. "What happened to her, Quinn!?" "She took these, a lot of these" Russell looked at Quinn and she held up the Methadone bottle. "Hurry up!" Russell was screaming at the paramedics. In one swoop Russell picked his daughter up and held her in his arms as he made his way over to the ambulance. "Come on, you're coming with me Quinn, you are in no fit state to drive anywhere." Quinn followed Russell to the ambulance and they both made their way to the hospital. As soon as they got inside the hospital Santana was took into the E.R. Russell told Quinn to wait in the waiting room and that he would keep her updated on any progress.

Quinn did as she was told. She couldn't help feel at fault here, if she didn't corner Santana, would she have tried to end it all? If they didn't have that fight the night before? , it was all a big bunch of what if. Quinn cried herself to sleep in the waiting room.

Quinn felt a strong pair of hands shake her by the shoulders. She opened her eyes to see puck, "hey, Russell told me to tell you that they saved her. They pumped her stomach just in time. Any longer and she would have had liver failure or died. You saved her Q" Puck finished his sentence with a tight embrace, he felt hot tears on his shoulders but he didn't care. Quinn pulled back, "can we see her" puck smiled "yea, that's why I woke you"

Quinn bounced out of the blue chair and linked her fingers with puck so that he could lead her down the hospital to Santana's room. They stopped at room 387 and puck knocked "san?" "Yea, come in" you could hear that her voice was weak. Quinn pushed passed Puck and made her way to Santana's bed. She threw herself on top of San. Both girls cried into the embrace. "Don't you ever scare me like that again" she whispered into San's ear. "I promise, I won't leave you" Quinn was the one to break the embrace so that she could wipe away hers and San's tears.

The three teens sat with each other for a good few hours until Russell intruded "okay, you guys are going to have to leave now, Santana needs her rest, she will be home soon though, so don't worry" Santana smiled "bye you guys" puck waved and said goodbye but Quinn yet again embraced her friend in a hug and kissed her cheek. "Bye san. I'll see you soon" Santana returned the gesture and smiled bright.

Puck was giving Quinn a ride home due to her car being at the tree still. "Q is everything all right?" puck could tell the blond was thinking something over in her head. "Yea, I'm just tired." "Don't lie to me Q, I know you better than that" Quinn sighed. "Fine, I'm just worried about san. What if she tries that again?" puck grabbed the small blonds hand "she won't do it again, she did it this time when she thought she had no one. She has us Q, more importantly, she has you. It's obvious that you two are in love but you two just haven't figured it out yet" Quinn laughed " I figured it out a long time ago, I was just waiting on her. But then Brit came along" Puck interrupted her "she loves Brit, we all know that but she doesn't look at her the way she looks at you, she doesn't share those long conversations that she shares with you, she doesn't look into her eyes and read her soul, but she does yours. Yes she loves Brit however she loves you in the way she's supposed to love Brit and loves Brit the way she's supposed to love you and we can all see that, even Brit. She was the one that told me and honestly, she said she was fine in stepping back if that's what you wanted, it's your call Q but just make the right call, for your sake and hers" By this point, they had pulled up outside Quinn's house. "Thanks Puke. You have no idea how much this means to me." She kissed his cheek and climbed out of the car. As soon as she got inside she found her way to her bed and passed out. She didn't even undo her clothes. This was the only peace she had found all day.


End file.
